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Friday, 04-Jun-2004 10:08 AM Happy days are here again Phew, at last the Islamic Party of Malaysia (PAS) has been kicked out of Terengganu. This PAS is so….so…..well, you know, so not cool. It is outdated. It is behind time. It was trying to bring Malaysia back to the middle ages. I mean, imagine banning snooker parlours, pubs, karaoke centres, liquor and gambling! How can they do that? That is a violation of our rights. Okay, so maybe snooker parlours are really gambling outlets in disguise while karaoke centres are fronts for the sex trade. But then, if I want to frequent these places this is my personal choice isn’t it? How can they deny me my personal choice? Okay, if these PAS chaps don’t want to gamble, get drunk, or engage in extramarital sex, then that is their business. But if I want to gamble, get pissed, or have one-night stands, then this is my business and no one else’s. I don’t interfere in their business. Why should they interfere in mine? That is the trouble with these PAS people. They are trying to teach us morals. But I don’t want to be moralistic. I want to be free to do what I want. Look, if I want to gamble all my money away and go broke why are they so concerned about it? It is my money and my business what I do with my money. Do I interfere with what they do with their money? And it is not like I am sleeping with prostitutes mind you. Maybe this is what they are scared of. Maybe they are scared I would spread HIV or something like that. I avoid prostitutes as far as possible. And if I still need to take a prostitute to bed, then I use a condom. So what’s the big deal? I know what I am doing. Anyway, I don’t like prostitutes that much. I go for young girls. I, in fact, prefer schoolgirls, and I assure you there are plenty of schoolgirls I can pick up any time. My fantasy is taking someone’s wife to bed. I have so far managed to pick up a couple of bored housewives whose husbands neglect them. Wow! They are really very wild in bed. But these PAS chaps spoilt all that. They closed down karaoke centres and pubs so it is now very difficult to pick up women. I mean, where are we going to find hot women if not at these pubs and karaoke centres? You can’t expect me to go house-to-house looking for them can you? Anyway, I am so glad these PAS chaps have been given the boot. Okay, I admit they are not that bad actually. I mean, at least they are clean and the four years or so they were in power Terengganu hardly had any corruption. I have to admit I need to take my hat off to them on this point. And they certainly did not waste any public funds on prestigious and unnecessary development. Most of these projects are tailored for kickbacks anyway. Even if we don’t have any of these so-called development projects we don’t lose anything. The only people who lose are the politicians who dish out these contracts and receive kickbacks. But running the state is not only about development. It is also about the happiness of its citizens. And I am not happy my gambling and sex activities have been stifled. Now that PAS has been kicked out all that is going to change. With Umno back in power I will once again be able to gamble and pick up hot women at the pubs and karaoke centres. And this banning of liquor is stupid. I mean; we need to get the women real pissed drunk before we can take them to bed. If we don’t get them drunk how can we get them into bed, especially if she is someone’s wife? Am I glad Umno is back and those PAS chaps have been kicked out. Happy days are here again. Happy days are here again. But hold on! What’s this? Shit! Those Umno guys are maintaining the ban on snooker parlours and karaoke centres. What the f--- is going on? We kicked PAS out because they are extreme. We kicked PAS out because they banned pubs, snooker parlours, karaoke centres, liquor, gambling, and so on. We voted Umno back in because we were assured they would reverse these extreme and outdated PAS policies. But now these Umno chaps just continue with the PAS policies. What the bloody f--- is going on? Shit! These Umno chaps fooled us good. They promised they would reverse everything PAS has done. They really took us for a ride. What next? I suppose they will now also not kick out that Islamic State thingy PAS introduced in the State Assembly late last year. We kicked PAS out because they wanted to introduce Islamic Law. We voted Umno in because they promised to block Islamic Laws. Now what happens? Umno gets voted in but it does not block the Islamic Law bill. And what’s all this crap about “leaving it to the courts to decide” on the future of Islamic law? Come on! Who do you think you are talking to here? As if we don’t know who controls the courts. You mean to say the courts will decide on its own freewill? Are you trying to tell me the courts are independent? Yeah! Sure? And I suppose grandmothers have balls. Come on! Don’t treat us like fools. Why not admit you are scared of blocking Islamic Laws lest you be accused of being anti-Islam? This is the same reason you are continuing the ban on liquor, gambling, pubs, snooker parlours and karaoke centres. Why not just come clean and be sincere about it? At least those PAS people are sincere though I don’t agree with their policies. NEWS FLASH – THE STRAITS TIMES KUALA TERENGGANU - Karaoke and snooker outlets will continue to be banned in the capital of Terengganu. The ban imposed by the conservative Parti Islam SeMalaysia (PAS) continues despite Barisan Nasional ousting the PAS state government in the general election earlier this year. The Kuala Terengganu municipal council will continue to shut down illegal karaoke and snooker premises. 'It is not a question of us continuing with PAS policies,' said the council's president, Mr Adzlan Dagang. 'We are just implementing existing rules.' Enforcement personnel closed two karaoke centres in Ladang and Plaza Perdana during an operation on Tuesday night. They also carted away karaoke-related equipment such as computers, microphones and amplifiers, he said, adding that that illegal operators could be fined up to RM25,000 (S$11,200) for each offence. He did not reveal the number of illegal karaoke and snooker centres in town. Last year, the PAS state government shut 13 karaoke and 10 snooker centres operating illegally. Mr Adzlan also said the council would implement a strict policy on permits for concerts in Kuala Terengganu. Permits would be issued only for performances by nasyid singers singing religious songs, he said. 'This is the directive of the state government, and we abide by it,' he added.
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